I need help!!!

Hi,  my name is *Fix in a name here* I am the typical kind of girl you see out there.  Ok, maybe not.  By the way,  this is my story. 

I was born into a christian home. Well not so much of a christian home but it could pass for one. My dad is a respectable politician and my mum, let’s  just say a business woman. That doesn’t really matter now, we are focused on me Right? Growing up for me wasn’t so easy. My mum and dad would always quarrel a ver every little thing.  It made bothered for a while but after sometime i got over it. 

I remember my dad would always threaten me about having a boyfriend but I really didn’t care because I wasn’t getting all the love and attention I needed from my house. 

I had always wanted to be part of the church, I hear my friends talk about it all the time but I see them as boring and lifeless. They always come to me saying the same old story: “Give your life to Christ”. I had given it several times, I still fallback to the same place. I try so hard and pray so well that I don’t go back the same way but most times I find myself back there. I would always want to talk to someone but it’s so difficult to see someone who wouldn’t judge me or say the same thing I’ve been hearing all my life.I want something different, something not so”churchy” but will still save me.  
I would visit my boyfriend all weekend(knowing fully well how wrong it is and what may follow afterwards) and go to church on Sunday fall flat on my face and weep like a baby asking for mercy and a second chance.  It is easier for you to say;”Go ahead and break up with him”. Trust me,it’s easier said than done.
It’s not like I don’t know this things, I know there is a deeper calling for me, there is this love that reaches out for me. I feel it sometimes and I don’t want to let go but I find myself letting go. Most times I never want to leave the church premises because i feel there is another type of world out there ready to sweep me off my feet,ready to take me to where I don’t belong. I really yearn for God, I always want more of HIM, and I know He does too. There is this ongoing battle in my mind. I really want to belong somewhere but I don’t see me there.
This is Me and you can call me whatever, it is a struggle and I NEED HELP


PS; This is not a true life story.



Filed under In my head

7 responses to “I need help!!!

  1. DrSamuel

    Hmmmn…..Miss “Whatever”, I will try not to sound “churchy” and “judgy”but I can’t help to sound “christly”. WE ALL have reasons to do the things we feel like doing like my parents don’t love me enuf so I can keep a boyfriend, have sex, take alcohol, go partying, watch porn etc cos like we say people judge us based on our choices but they don’t wanna know the options we had BUT the truth is Jesus Christ has been judged and has paid for all ur sins-past, present and future…..ooops #criously, yeah criously and He also wiped out all our excuses #whao….how do u mean? It is IMPOSSIBLE to live righteous in this world as we are, the harder we try to leave a bad habit or sinful act, the harder we fall; c’mon fink bout it, why did Christ come to die? Was it just to pay for the sins of man? man tried to be righteous b4 God and keep the laws but couldn’t, Jesus came, became the first man to fulfill the law and lived a blameless and righteous life till HE DIED and then He told us this- In this world, there will be tribulations but be of good cheer for I have overcome the world. Wooooowww!!!! He has cancelled all our excuses for we don’t have to depend on ourselves anymore but on He who has OVERCOME the world, the ONLY way to live right is to believe that we have been made righteous and depend on the gift of righteousness and the abundance of grace found in Christ, the ONLY way to live in this world is not to “Give ur lyf to God” #surprised but to RECEIVE the life of Christ cos IN HIM you are made righteous forever. God loves you so much, the same way you yearn for Him, He also yearns for a relationship with you, he wants to be ur Abba, ur Father and it is His spirit convicting you of ur sin of unbelief that’s why u feel that deeper calling. He is saying Come; Walk with me and work with me, Learn the unforced rhythms of Grace for my yoke is easy and my burden is light..HE WANTS TO BE YOUR LOVER cos in the first place HE IS LOVE. #whew…..I believe I have said enuf for nw #winks. Selah

  2. lewa

    Prayer is the key…just sit down one day and tell God the exact thing you need that will bring peace into your life…prayer really works…it has worked for me several times and still works

  3. Henry

    My sister,we do have similar story lines..lemmi jus be sincere wit u here: as difficult as certain decisions might be they are actually your sure bet to freedom.You will be entangled by worldliness nd consistently fall in nd out of sin until you are ready to take a decision that I’ll hit you hard.Am sure you knw wat am driving at.Afterwards,pls stand firm in Christ Jesus nd be ready to ward off enticing offers to lure you back into sin,nd am sure by God’s grace you will be glad with the new lease of life that you have found in Christ Jesus.

  4. aanuoluwakiitan

    Dr samuel is so on point 🙂

  5. Psalmuel

    The Holy Spirit is the Solution.

  6. This is someone’s true story…

    where sin (weakness) abounds, Grace abounds much more!!!

    Great write

  7. Reblogged this on 360point and commented:
    This would be our 1st article. I have come to realise the struggle most christains have. Please read this wonderful post here… Enjoy.

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